BeBe

The Story of What Happened When BeBe Romano

Said She Was Having a Baby

The home of the Sal and Jade Esposito. The décor is ornate and very colorful. Toward

stage right is a dining table, china cabinet and the exit to the kitchen. Toward stage left,

is the living area and the exit to the downstairs bathroom. Upstage, is the front door and

the staircase to the upstairs bedrooms.

BEBE ROMANO enters carrying a Walgreens shopping bag. She crosses to the couch and

sits down. She removes the contents of the bag and leaves the empty bag on the coffee

table. She exits toward the bathroom.

After a moment, CRYSTAL GAYLE ROMANO enters. She is carrying a heavy backpack full of textbooks. She puts down her backpack on the coffee table and notices the empty Walgreens bag.

CRYSTAL GAYLE BeBe - you home yet? BeBe

BEBE (Off.) I'm in the bathroom.

CRYSTAL GAYLE What'd you get at Walgreens?

BEBE (Off.) Nothing.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Why is this bag on the table if you didn't get anything?

BEBE (Off.) Well maybe I did get something but I just don't want to tell you what it is.

CRYSTAL GAYLE What did you get at Walgreens, BeBe?

BEBE (Off.) Can't a girl get any privacy around here without somebody sticking their nose in her business?

CRYSTAL GAYLE Come on, tell me what you got.

BEBE enters from the bathroom carrying an EPT (Early Pregnancy Test). The results of the test are positive.

BEBE You gotta swear you won't tell anybody.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Is that an EPT?

BEBE Yeah it's an EPT.

CRYSTAL GAYLE What are you doing with an EPT?

BEBE It's an early pregnancy test. What do you think I'm doing with it?

CRYSTAL GAYLE Are you ---?

BEBE The thing's blue. They say that blue means you're pregnant.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You're pregnant?

BEBE It sure looks that way.

CRYSTAL GAYLE How can you be pregnant?

BEBE I thought you took sex-ed in school.

CRYSTAL GAYLE I know how women get pregnant. I want to know how you got pregnant. Or should I say who got you pregnant?

BEBE I'm not sure. I don't know.

CRYSTAL GAYLE What do you mean you don't know?

BEBE I don't know.

CRYSTAL GAYLE That doesn't even make sense, BeBe. I know you you don't sleep around. If you're pregnant, you know who the father is. You're just not telling.

BEBE You have to promise me you won't say a word about this to anybody not even Jade.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You have to tell Jade.

BEBE I'll tell her when the time is right. Promise?

CRYSTAL GAYLE All right I won't tell. But you know everybody is gonna ask who the father is.

CRYSTAL GAYLE So what are you gonna say?

BEBE I haven't decided yet.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Well you better start thinking about it. Man, is Ruby ever gonna be pissed-off when you tell her. What's the one thing she told us never to do?

BEBE (Imitating her sister.) "Don't you girls ever get yourselves knocked-up like I did."

CRYSTAL GAYLE "Keep your legs closed." That's what she always said.

BEBE It'll be okay.

CRYSTAL GAYLE How are you gonna take care of a kid, BeBe? You haven't even been able to take care of yourself?

BEBE Yes I have.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You have? And when was that?

BEBE I had a job once.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You did?

BEBE Yeah I did. Don't you remember? I worked at the Pizza Palace.

CRYSTAL GAYLE That's right. You worked there for three whole weeks. Real impressive.

BEBE I can get another job.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You've been looking for a job for a year and a half.

BEBE I'll come up with something. As soon as I get my GED.

CRYSTAL GAYLE And when will that be?

CRYSTAL GAYLE Yeah, right. You've been saying that for months.

BEBE I'm working on it.

CRYSTAL GAYLE I'll believe that when I see it. You know Jade isn't gonna be able to help you.

BEBE I know but I was thinking that maybe Sal might be able to give me a hand.

CRYSTAL GAYLE And what makes you think Sal will help?

BEBE He helped Ruby, didn't he?

CRYSTAL GAYLE He took her in and gave her a place to live. We're already living here.

BEBE I was thinking that maybe he could give me a job.

CRYSTAL GAYLE And what are you gonna do, lay cement when you're six months pregnant?

BEBE I was thinking that maybe I could work in the office with Jade.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Have you ever set foot in an office? You have no office skills. You don't type. Have you ever even touched a computer?

BEBE I played games with Joey on his computer once.

CRYSTAL GAYLE That's great, BeBe. You have the computer skills of a twelve year old. I don't think there's much of a demand for Super Mario Brothers in the office.

BEBE I was thinking that I could answer the phone stuff like that. I've got a lot of phone experience.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Talking to your friends on the phone doesn't count as phone skills.

BEBE I don't see why not.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You are one of the most irresponsible people I have ever known.

BEBE Why because I don't have a job or because I got pregnant?

CRYSTAL GAYLE I hope you're doing the cooking tonight because I'm not.

BEBE Don't worry about it. I'll cook.

CRYSTAL GAYLE It better be something good.

BEBE exits to the kitchen. CRYSTAL GAYLE sits on the couch and takes a book from her backpack. She begins to read. After a few seconds, JADE ESPOSITO enters the house.

JADE Hey, Crystal. How was school?

CRYSTAL GAYLE How it usually is.

JADE And how is that?

CRYSTAL GAYLE It makes me tired.

JADE College is hard work.

CRYSTAL GAYLE And how would you know?

JADE I took a class once. At Hudson County College.

CRYSTAL GAYLE When was that?

JADE Years ago. Sal and I had just started dating. He made me quit.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Why?

JADE He said it took too much time away from him. But I think he was just jealous of me being in a class with a bunch of young guys.

CRYSTAL GAYLE You never took another class?

JADE Nah. So what's for dinner?

CRYSTAL GAYLE BeBe's in the kitchen cooking. You know what that means.

JADE Spaghetti with sauce from a jar. Maybe I should get in there and give her a hand.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Good idea.

Crystal Gayle begins reading again. A few seconds later, Ruby Romano enters.

RUBY Hey, Crystal. What's going on?

CRYSTAL GAYLE Studying.

RUBY As usual. You're never going to believe who came into the shop today.

CRYSTAL GAYLE I couldn't even begin to guess.

RUBY Who is my idol? She's the world's greatest singer and celebrity.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Enlighten me.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Madonna came into your shop?

RUBY No but Madonna's best friend from grade school did.

CRYSTAL GAYLE And how do you know the woman was Madonna's best friend from grade school?

RUBY She told me she was.

CRYSTAL GAYLE And you believed her?

RUBY She showed me a picture of the two of them from third grade.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Now that's an accomplishment to be proud of. Did you know that I went to school with Tom Cruise?

CRYSTAL GAYLE He's like forty. He could almost be my father.

RUBY Funny. Where is everybody?

CRYSTAL GAYLE They're in the kitchen. BeBe is cooking tonight.

RUBY Great. Another spaghetti and Ragu night.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Jade is helping her cook.

RUBY So we might get meatballs, then.

CRYSTAL GAYLE One can only hope.

BEBE enters from the kitchen.

RUBY I thought you were cooking.

BEBE I did my part. I made the sauce.

RUBY You've never made sauce in your life. You heat up sauce from a jar.

BEBE I picked that sauce out especially for you. It's black olive and pepper.

RUBY You're never going to believe who came into the shop today.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Madonna's supposed best friend from the third grade. Did you know that I went to prom with Freddie Prinze Jr.?

BEBE You didn't go to your prom.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Yeah and I don't think the woman who came into the shop was really Madonna's best friend from grade school.

RUBY She showed me a picture.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Didn't you even wonder why this woman would be carrying around a picture of herself and Madonna from the third grade? Doesn't that seem a little weird to you?

RUBY I'd carry around the picture if it was me with Madonna.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Why doesn't that surprise me?

JADE enters from the kitchen.

JADE Sal isn't home yet?

BEBE Nope. No sign of him.

JADE He said he was going to make a quick stop and come right home.

RUBY Where was he going?

JADE He said he needed to pick something up.

CRYSTAL GAYLE He could be a while.

JADE What do you mean by that?

CRYSTAL GAYLE Nothing.

JADE I don't want dinner getting cold.

RUBY Is it ready? I'm starving.

JADE And where's Joey?

RUBY He's at Little Anthony's house for dinner.

JADE Thanks for telling me.

RUBY I'm telling you now.

JADE You're telling me now I already cooked.

JADE You didn't cook. You poured sauce out of a jar.

BEBE I heated it.

JADE I think we should eat. It's getting late.

The women all exit to the kitchen and re-enter carrying plates of food, drinks, silverware, etc. They all sit down at the dining table.

JADE How was your day, Ruby?

CRYSTAL GAYLE Please not the Madonna story again you'll make me sick.

RUBY You're just jealous that I met a celebrity and nothing that exciting ever happens in your life.

JADE You met Madonna?

CRYSTAL GAYLE No Madonna's best friend from the third grade.

BEBE I don't really think she counts as a celebrity, Ruby.

RUBY That's probably the closest I'll ever get to Madonna and all you and Crystal can do is put me down.

JADE Did I ever tell you that I went to high school with Bruce Springstein's cousin? He actually got us tickets to one of his concerts.

CRYSTAL GAYLE At least you got tickets out of the guy. Ruby didn't get anything.

RUBY I got something. I got to see a picture of Madonna in the third grade.

JADE I'm starting to get worried about Sal. He's usually not this late.

CRYSTAL GAYLE He's always this late.

BEBE Can't we just eat without having to worry about Sal all the time?

JADE And where would we be without Sal? Out on the street, that's where. He took the three of you in from the goodness of his heart when no one else would. You should be grateful.

BEBE Can we please talk about something else?

JADE Fine what would you like to talk about, BeBe?

BEBE I don't know.

JADE How 'bout you, Ruby? What do you want to talk about?

RUBY Joey's selling magazine subscriptions to earn money for his band trip. They're going to Six Flags.

CRYSTAL GAYLE How many subscriptions does he have to sell?

RUBY Twenty-five.

CRYSTAL GAYLE In this neighborhood? He'll be lucky to find twenty-five people who can read.

JADE The neighborhood isn't that bad.

CRYSTAL GAYLE Okay let me rephrase that. I don't think Joey'll be able to find twenty-five people who can read in English is that better?

JADE So the neighborhood's changed a little. I know, most of the Italians have moved out, but Sal's parents bought this house sixty years ago. Sal was born here. He doesn't want to give it up.

CRYSTAL GAYLE What about you, Jade? What do you want?

JADE I want what Sal wants.

CRYSTAL GAYLE I think I've had enough for one evening. I'm going up to study.

CRYSTAL GAYLE crosses to the coffee table and picks up her backpack. She exits upstairs.

RUBY What's got into her all of a sudden?

BEBE Maybe it's her monthly visitor.

RUBY We'll find out, I'm sure.

BEBE begins to feel upset in the stomach.

BEBE I'm not feeling too good. I think I'd better go upstairs and lie down.

JADE I've told you a million times not to use that sauce from a jar. You don't know what they put in that stuff or how they make it. It's no wonder you're sick to your stomach.

RUBY The sauce tasted good to me.

BEBE I'd better go.

BEBE exits quickly upstairs.

JADE I guess that leaves us to clean up.

RUBY and JADE begin to clear the dinner dishes.

RUBY Should we leave a plate for Sal?

JADE I'll fix him one when he gets home.

JADE You know I had a lot of fun at that Springstein concert. A bunch of us went to White Castle afterward, and we were sneaking beers in the parking lot. I made out with Ricky Lorenzo in the back seat of his car. God that seems like such a long time ago high school. When you're sixteen you have your whole life ahead of you. You feel like you can conquer the world. That is until you realize how poor your family is and everything you can't do because of it. I wanted more for you, Ruby. I still want more for BeBe and Crystal.

RUBY More? I'm not sure there is anymore than this.

JADE There's got to be more than this.

RUBY And what's wrong with just being a girl from Jersey?

JADE What's the old saying? "Jersey's a great place to be from."

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