The Story of What Happened When BeBe Romano

Said She Was Having a Baby

The home of the Sal and Jade Esposito. The décor is ornate and very colorful. Toward

stage right is a dining table, china cabinet and the exit to the kitchen. Toward stage left,

is the living area and the exit to the downstairs bathroom. Upstage, is the front door and

the staircase to the upstairs bedrooms.

BEBE ROMANO enters carrying a Walgreens shopping bag. She crosses to the couch and

sits down. She removes the contents of the bag and leaves the empty bag on the coffee

table. She exits toward the bathroom. 

After a moment, CRYSTAL GAYLE ROMANO enters. She is carrying a heavy backpack full of textbooks. She puts down her backpack on the coffee table and notices the empty Walgreens bag.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   BeBe -  you home yet? BeBe 

BEBE   (Off.) I'm in the bathroom.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   What'd you get at Walgreens?

BEBE   (Off.) Nothing.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Why is this bag on the table if you didn't get anything?

BEBE   (Off.) Well  maybe I did get something but I just don't want to tell you what it is.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   What did you get at Walgreens, BeBe?

BEBE   (Off.)   Can't a girl get any privacy around here without somebody sticking their nose in her business?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Come on, tell me what you got.

BEBE enters from the bathroom carrying an EPT (Early Pregnancy Test). The results of the test are positive.

BEBE   You gotta swear you won't tell anybody.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Is that an EPT?

BEBE   Yeah  it's an EPT.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   What are you doing with an EPT?

BEBE   It's an early pregnancy test. What do you think I'm doing with it?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Are you ---?

BEBE   The thing's blue. They say that blue means you're pregnant.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You're pregnant?

BEBE   It sure looks that way.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   How can you be pregnant?

BEBE   I thought you took sex-ed in school.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   I know how women get pregnant. I want to know how you got pregnant. Or should I say who got you pregnant?

BEBE   I'm not sure. I don't know.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   What do you mean you don't know?

BEBE   I don't know.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   That doesn't even make sense, BeBe. I know you  you don't sleep around. If you're pregnant, you know who the father is. You're just not telling.

BEBE   You have to promise me you won't say a word about this to anybody  not even Jade.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You have to tell Jade.

BEBE   I'll tell her  when the time is right. Promise?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   All right  I won't tell. But you know everybody is gonna ask who the father is.

BEBE   I know.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   So  what are you gonna say?

BEBE   I haven't decided yet.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Well  you better start thinking about it. Man, is Ruby ever gonna be pissed-off when you tell her. What's the one thing she told us never to do?

BEBE   (Imitating her sister.) "Don't you girls ever get yourselves knocked-up like I did."

CRYSTAL GAYLE   "Keep your legs closed." That's what she always said.

BEBE   It'll be okay.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   How are you gonna take care of a kid, BeBe? You haven't even been able to take care of yourself?

BEBE   Yes I have.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You have? And when was that?

BEBE   I had a job once.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You did?

BEBE   Yeah  I did. Don't you remember? I worked at the Pizza Palace.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   That's right. You worked there for three whole weeks. Real impressive.

BEBE   I can get another job.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You've been looking for a job for a year and a half.

BEBE   I'll come up with something. As soon as I get my GED.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   And when will that be?

BEBE   Soon.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Yeah, right. You've been saying that for months.

BEBE   I'm working on it.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   I'll believe that when I see it. You know Jade isn't gonna be able to help you.

BEBE   I know  but I was thinking that maybe Sal might be able to give me a hand.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   And what makes you think Sal will help?

BEBE   He helped Ruby, didn't he?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   He took her in and gave her a place to live. We're already living here.

BEBE   I was thinking that maybe he could give me a job.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   And what are you gonna do, lay cement when you're six months pregnant?

BEBE   I was thinking that maybe I could work in the office with Jade.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Have you ever set foot in an office? You have no office skills. You don't type. Have you ever even touched a computer?

BEBE   I played games with Joey on his computer once.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   That's great, BeBe. You have the computer skills of a twelve year old. I don't think there's much of a demand for Super Mario Brothers in the office.

BEBE   I was thinking that I could answer the phone  stuff like that. I've got a lot of phone experience.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Talking to your friends on the phone doesn't count as phone skills.

BEBE   I don't see why not.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You are one of the most irresponsible people I have ever known.

BEBE   Why  because I don't have a job or because I got pregnant?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   I hope you're doing the cooking tonight because I'm not.

BEBE   Don't worry about it. I'll cook.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   It better be something good.

BEBE exits to the kitchen. CRYSTAL GAYLE sits on the couch and takes a book from her backpack. She begins to read. After a few seconds, JADE ESPOSITO enters the house.

JADE   Hey, Crystal. How was school?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   How it usually is.

JADE   And how is that?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   It makes me tired.

JADE   College is hard work.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   And how would you know?

JADE   I took a class once. At Hudson County College.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   When was that?

JADE   Years ago. Sal and I had just started dating. He made me quit.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Why?

JADE   He said it took too much time away from him. But I think he was just jealous of me being in a class with a bunch of young guys.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   You never took another class?

JADE   Nah. So what's for dinner?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   BeBe's in the kitchen cooking. You know what that means.

JADE   Spaghetti with sauce from a jar. Maybe I should get in there and give her a hand.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Good idea.

Crystal Gayle begins reading again. A few seconds later, Ruby Romano enters.

RUBY   Hey, Crystal. What's going on?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Studying.

RUBY   As usual. You're never going to believe who came into the shop today.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   I couldn't even begin to guess.

RUBY   Who is my idol? She's the world's greatest singer and celebrity.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Enlighten me.

RUBY   Madonna.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Madonna came into your shop?

RUBY   No  but Madonna's best friend from grade school did.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   And how do you know the woman was Madonna's best friend from grade school?

RUBY   She told me she was.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   And you believed her?

RUBY   She showed me a picture of the two of them from third grade.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Now that's an accomplishment to be proud of. Did you know that I went to school with Tom Cruise?

RUBY   You did?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   He's like forty. He could almost be my father.

RUBY   Funny. Where is everybody?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   They're in the kitchen. BeBe is cooking tonight.

RUBY   Great. Another spaghetti and Ragu night.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Jade is helping her cook.

RUBY   So we might get meatballs, then.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   One can only hope.

BEBE enters from the kitchen.

RUBY   I thought you were cooking.

BEBE   I did my part. I made the sauce.

RUBY   You've never made sauce in your life. You heat up sauce from a jar.

BEBE   I picked that sauce out especially for you. It's black olive and pepper.

RUBY   You're never going to believe who came into the shop today.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Madonna's supposed best friend from the third grade. Did you know that I went to prom with Freddie Prinze Jr.?

BEBE   You didn't go to your prom.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Yeah  and I don't think the woman who came into the shop was really Madonna's best friend from grade school.

RUBY   She showed me a picture.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Didn't you even wonder why this woman would be carrying around a picture of herself and Madonna from the third grade? Doesn't that seem a little weird to you?

RUBY   I'd carry around the picture if it was me with Madonna.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Why doesn't that surprise me?

JADE enters from the kitchen.

JADE   Sal isn't home yet?

BEBE   Nope. No sign of him.

JADE   He said he was going to make a quick stop and come right home.

RUBY   Where was he going?

JADE   He said he needed to pick something up.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   He could be a while.

JADE   What do you mean by that?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Nothing.

JADE   I don't want dinner getting cold.

RUBY   Is it ready? I'm starving.

JADE   And where's Joey?

RUBY   He's at Little Anthony's house for dinner.

JADE   Thanks for telling me.

RUBY   I'm telling you now.

JADE   You're telling me now  I already cooked.

BEBE   I cooked.

JADE   You didn't cook. You poured sauce out of a jar.

BEBE   I heated it.

JADE   I think we should eat. It's getting late.

The women all exit to the kitchen and re-enter carrying plates of food, drinks, silverware, etc. They all sit down at the dining table.

JADE   How was your day, Ruby?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Please  not the Madonna story again  you'll make me sick.

RUBY   You're just jealous that I met a celebrity and nothing that exciting ever happens in your life.

JADE   You met Madonna?

CRYSTAL GAYLE   No  Madonna's best friend from the third grade.

BEBE   I don't really think she counts as a celebrity, Ruby.

RUBY   That's probably the closest I'll ever get to Madonna and all you and Crystal can do is put me down.

JADE   Did I ever tell you that I went to high school with Bruce Springstein's cousin? He actually got us tickets to one of his concerts.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   At least you got tickets out of the guy. Ruby didn't get anything.

RUBY   I got something. I got to see a picture of Madonna in the third grade.

JADE   I'm starting to get worried about Sal. He's usually not this late.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   He's always this late.

BEBE   Can't we just eat without having to worry about Sal all the time?

JADE   And where would we be without Sal? Out on the street, that's where. He took the three of you in  from the goodness of his heart  when no one else would. You should be grateful.

BEBE   Can we please talk about something else?

JADE   Fine  what would you like to talk about, BeBe?

BEBE   I don't know.

JADE   How 'bout you, Ruby? What do you want to talk about?

RUBY   Joey's selling magazine subscriptions to earn money for his band trip. They're going to Six Flags.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   How many subscriptions does he have to sell?

RUBY   Twenty-five.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   In this neighborhood? He'll be lucky to find twenty-five people who can read.

JADE   The neighborhood isn't that bad.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   Okay  let me rephrase that. I don't think Joey'll be able to find twenty-five people who can read in English  is that better?

JADE   So  the neighborhood's changed a little. I know, most of the Italians have moved out, but Sal's parents bought this house sixty years ago. Sal was born here. He doesn't want to give it up.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   What about you, Jade? What do you want?

JADE   I want what Sal wants.

CRYSTAL GAYLE   I think I've had enough for one evening. I'm going up to study.

CRYSTAL GAYLE crosses to the coffee table and picks up her backpack. She exits upstairs.

RUBY   What's got into her all of a sudden?

BEBE   Maybe it's her monthly visitor.

RUBY   We'll find out, I'm sure.

BEBE begins to feel upset in the stomach.

BEBE   I'm not feeling too good. I think I'd better go upstairs and lie down.

JADE   I've told you a million times not to use that sauce from a jar. You don't know what they put in that stuff or how they make it. It's no wonder you're sick to your stomach.

RUBY   The sauce tasted good to me.

BEBE   I'd better go.

BEBE exits quickly upstairs.

JADE   I guess that leaves us to clean up.

RUBY and JADE begin to clear the dinner dishes.

RUBY   Should we leave a plate for Sal?

JADE   I'll fix him one when he gets home.

RUBY   Okay.

JADE   You know  I had a lot of fun at that Springstein concert. A bunch of us went to White Castle afterward, and we were sneaking beers in the parking lot. I made out with Ricky Lorenzo in the back seat of his car. God  that seems like such a long time ago  high school. When you're sixteen  you have your whole life ahead of you. You feel like you can conquer the world. That is until you realize how poor your family is and everything you can't do because of it. I wanted more for you, Ruby. I still want more for BeBe and Crystal.

RUBY   More? I'm not sure there is anymore than this.

JADE   There's got to be more than this.

RUBY   And what's wrong with just being a girl from Jersey?

JADE   What's the old saying? "Jersey's a great place to be from."

Want to read more?

Order PLAYS FOR A NEW GENERATION today.